Hello whoever might be out there, To answer my question bluntly, yes. Yes it was. I am dreading the stupid small talk back at school because I do not know what I am going to say. I have spent most of today trying to formulate an answer to that forsaken question. I don't even know where this week has gone. Part of me hoped that sitting down and writing a blog post at the end of each day would provide me with some sort of closure, signifying the end of one day and the start of the next, but it really hasn't done that as successfully as I had wished. The days all blur into one when you don't really have anything to do.  I guess I have spent the time somehow, time passes no matter what you do with it. I just know hearing stories of people going on these magnificent holidays or grand days out will make me wish I did more. I really do want to do more, but I don't know how. And I seem to think the more precious time off I have, the more likely the cure to boredom is just going...

Hello whoever might be out there, I have an obsession with any life but my own. Any universe. Any world. I absolutely love Pokémon. I would give anything to wake up and live in the Pokémon world, having my own little friends, battling and entering contests. It would be the dream. Ironically, I am terrified of anything that moves. I would have an arc like Lillie's in the Sun and Moon anime. It would be the best thing ever. Or maybe I will wake up a magical world. Where I am a witch. I loved The Worst Witch books as a child. Living in a world like that would be the actual best. I have no other words really to describe how cool that would be. It is a feeling I struggle to put into words. But unfortunately that is not the world I live in. I am forever confined to this one reality. And that does sting. Because people are so creative with the alternate worlds we make in media, and that to know they are nothing but fiction, is saddening. We are forever confined to this one, miserable worl...

Hello whoever might be out there, My day has been filled with nothing but procrastinated task after procrastinated task. You will never guess where I got the idea for today's blog from? (Answer: I was procrastinating writing it, there are plenty of other, better, times in the day to write a blog other than 11pm.) Everyone procrastinates. There are things in life we just do not want to do, therefore we put them off as long as possible. Like today, I procrastinated doing my maths homework. Why? Who knows, I literally google all of the answers anyway so it isn't like it is hard. I also procrastinated writing up my notes for my Drama coursework exam. And I still haven't finished it. I know it is important, so why on Earth am I trying to delay it for so long? I suppose there is only me to blame if I turn up on Tuesday with nothing to write about. But my procrastination has gotten so bad that I have started procrastinating things I love doing, such as writing this blog. I also pr...

Hello whoever might be out there, I have nothing to say about today. Or so I thought when I was brainstorming of ideas for today's blog. I am using my classic technique of typing every blurry thought that comes into my head with the hopes of something coherent coming out. I'll say I did nothing today, but what I really mean is that I did nothing of notable worth. Nothing particularly blog worthy unless you want to hear about my bath (I was reminded once again why I hate baths.) But I suppose I still have something to say. Having nothing to say is saying something in itself. It's an acknowledgement. An awareness. It is you comparing the tasks you did in the day with what the societal standard of worth is. It is belittling. I enjoyed my day despite not really doing anything of worth. I like scrolling through social media and listening to music. To me, that is fun. And that is okay. Spend your day doing "nothing", because "nothing" is still something. And t...

Hello whoever might be out there,  I started this blog because I love writing but I have an irrational fear of the internet. It amazes me how comfortable people are showing their face and lives for the entire world to see while I am sat here rereading a TikTok comment twenty times over just to make sure I haven't accidently insulted the recipient's mother. Nine times out of ten I end up not posting the comment and scrolling five posts down as if I am hiding the embarrassment of what I just did. There will be a day where my twenty internet personas all blend into one. Mae Dreams will meet Robin Skye and Arrow Radio. Maybe even Cookie Crumbs or Toadaya will rise from the graves. I am starting to forget which platform has what, entering five varying username and password combinations every time I try to log in to anywhere looks rather suspicious. All of this just to keep the humble internet user guessing. It's not like I have anything to hide, I can't imagine it being the ...

Hello whoever might be out there, Why is everything so serious? I mean, even something as simple as a trip to the hairdressers suddenly becomes a series of twenty life or death decisions. Sometimes I simply do not know! I just want a haircut that will look good but will be practical. I feel as if we are asked so many questions while going about our daily lives that sometimes we just need to rest. Do I want a receipt? Do I want your leaflet? Do I want large or medium? How was my day? Have I got any plans? I have become so used to saying the "obvious" answer that even the word "obvious" has lost its meaning. I was talking to my hairdresser and said "Obviously because she speaks French..." What is wrong with me? That isn't obvious at all! Every day has turned less into living and more like a constant quiz, a bombardment of questions that I have to fight my way through. I wish everything was just a bit more obvious. If only you could actually read my mind....

Hello whoever might be out there,  I had my interview for college today. It went perfectly to be honest, couldn't have wished for anything better. It just made me wonder what my next steps actually are? I can't stay rotting in my room forever. There has to be a point where I decide enough is enough and that I need to do something with my life. People will say I don't need to panic because I am only 16 and that I shouldn't compare myself to others, but that is literally impossible when I am in a building of people my age, 5 days a week. They say comparison is the thief of joy, but comparison also brings about change. It is as if I am waiting for one big event or opportunity to be handed to me at my doorstep, which would be ideal to be honest. One big change that will all happen in an instant and suddenly my life will be perfect, but I know that will never happen. But I am not doing bad either; why should I go out and chase this "perfect" life when the one I hav...

Hello whoever might be out there,  I have sat here for the last hour trying to think of something to say about today. But I have nothing. And that is okay. I give myself these writing challenges in the hope that I will come up with some creative genius on every single day, but that isn't always possible. In fact I am impressed that I even made it to day two. You would have thought that I would know myself well enough by now to not start challenges like these that require daily consistency because then I feel forced to do it. And I hate being forced to do things. Yet here I am, once again pushing myself. Trying to force out that creative spark. Convinced that the more I try and force it, the easier it will flow. There's only so many times I can say "I did nothing today." I mean, I went to my Grandma's house, sure, but people have become so used to that being my answer to the question "What did you do over the weekend?" That it isn't an interesting ans...

Hello whoever might be out there,  It's that time again. Half term. A whole week to sit and mellow in my own thoughts while trying fifty new hobbies just to pass the time. Stuck indoors. I went shopping today. Bought some lip glosses, thought it might help me feel that tiny bit more feminine; I really am clutching at straws here. My phone tells me I spent 46 minutes on Vinted - I spent 46 minutes gawping at the price of clothes that I never will get my hands on. I did some colouring, although I think the book I bought at a discount for only 50p has AI slop in it. I never realised there was a road running under London bridge. I made a playlist on the Nintendo Music app. A "Calm mix." Scrolling through every single song of all the Nintendo games I have played, sorting them into which fit my idea of calm. Ironically, I only had the patience to listen to the first few seconds of each. I think that just shows why I needed a calm mix in the first place. I played TCGP for an hou...