The beginning of an end

Hello whoever might be out there, 

Yes I am still alive, albeit swamped by the pressures that come naturally with exam season.

People claim that one benefit to doing BTEC courses in school is that coursework is so much better than exams, but the more I think, the less sure I am about that.

There are no exams in the official sense of the word. You aren't in the big exam hall with the exam board regulations are playing. You know exactly what the questions are going to be and what you have to do, there are no harsh surprises because all the surprises come before you have to do any writing. But there are still exams.

I do BTEC music and drama; within the last two months I have sat (or will have sat) for those two subjects a combined total of 5 written exams adding up to six hours. Six hours of exam conditions and a computer. Six hours with a singular page of notes and a prayer. And that's not even all of the ones I have sat across the three years. Just because it isn't a regular exam, doesn't mean it isn't an exam at all.

An hour for eight marks is rough. Even though I have now sat (nearly) all the exams, I still can't tell you how I think I did, or what I was really supposed to be writing about. Doing all the technical stuff only hits about half, if not less, of the total marks. My actual skills are secondary to how well I can write about them.

I am lucky that I can yap and yap like my life depends on it. 2000+ words in an hour is completely reasonable for me. I just hope that I am writing about the right thing. Saying the right things. Because you never really get told what you are supposed to say, just that you are supposed to say stuff about what you did. There is no consistency either - things you might do in drama are completely different to the things you do in music. It was honestly so... irritating!

There are some things that I will miss I suppose. Some things more than other. BTECs were a different experience to GCSEs, and it's hard for me to say which is better in total honesty, because I don't know.

This marks the beginning of an end. I am seeing more and more "lasts" as the days count down. The sudden blunt confrontation that there are so many things which I will simply ever have to do again.

And I sincerely hope that one of those things is listen to "Clocks" by Coldplay.

Yours faithfully,

MD

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