To believe or not to believe?

Hello whoever might be out there,

I have recently been opened up to the world of religion by a friend of mine, specifically Christianity. I can confidently say I have never been so confused about anything in my life, and I am sitting higher tier GCSE maths for crying out loud! It is crazy to me to think that people can believe so strongly in something and yet have such little proof, but it is beautiful regardless. I guess that is what faith is. The passion is palpable. It really is a community like no other, all united by faith. 

The service I went to was a meet up of several youth groups in the area, aimed at teenagers, but it was very clear from the start that it was for teenagers who already have an established connection with religion, mainly those raised with it. As someone who fits into neither of those categories, having my youth leader try to give me a crash course in the story of Zacchaeus was definitely an experience. For a community who claim to be welcoming, I felt rather isolated at some points. There were a few mentions to "new Christians" but it was quite uncomfortable. However, I am grateful that my youth group are very understanding and have shown me how inclusivity is supposed to be.

I took part in all of the activities led by the speaker. Not out of compulsion, but out of interest. To see if I felt something, and it is safe to say I didn't. We were told that we might feel a "warm feeling" and were told that it was the "holy spirit" but all I could feel were my feet going numb from kneeling on the floor. I did feel stronger emotion at one point, but I think that was mainly because of the power of music, rather than the power of God. Seeing my best friend so happy made me happy, and surely that isn't what anyone would want?

The speaker closed with a message telling people to go out and be an ambassador for Jesus. But being an ambassador for Jesus consists of just being a nice person. The more I think about religion, the more I believe that it (organised religion) was created purely to have an external motivator for morals. There will be a day when people start realising you can be a morally "good" person without having to necessarily believe in a certain religion. You can be a good person just for the sake of it. 

All of this aside, this joint belief does bring about an amazing community, with some talented musicians. If only it was just societally acceptable to have a community all about admitting our mistakes and trying to become better people, but many people would just call that group therapy.

Church doesn't have to be a religious thing if you don't make it one. I took it as a good opportunity for self-reflection, and I will continue to in the future. You can't be forced to believe anything. I can't be forced to believe in God. I wholeheartedly believe (my youth group anyway) aren't there to try and convert me. We are all just trying to become better people, with Jesus involved or not.

How do you think you could become a better person?

Yours faithfully,

MD

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